I think I know what I want to be when I grow up. A professional quidditch player! You read that right. A. Professional. Quidditch. Player.

Yeah it’s a real thing and while it takes place mostly on college campuses (man I colleged a lot differently… I regret nothing! Well… that wasn’t my fault…) I’ve done flag football leagues and I’ve done beer league, slow pitch softball but I think it’s time to change the game. I think the world is more than ready for me to start my own adult (if that’s what you can call me) quidditch league. And who among you wouldn’t want to join? You get to pretend to fly on a broom and throw things at friends. That’s a typical Saturday night for most of you any way. Or is that just me?

Most of us already have a broom, although something tells me small brooms are the key to maneuvering quickly, so all you’ll need is some dodge balls and a fast friend to wear a gold t-shirt to be the snitch. Picture your friend in a gold shirt with a tennis ball tied around his/her waist and then chasing them all over. How does this not sound like fun. Ridiculous, life changing, fun.

And you know my love for t-shirts, so think of the awesomeness of having your own quidditch team on a t-shirt with your name and number on the back. #livingthedream The Long Island House Elves or the New York Nifflers. If that doesn’t get the blood pumping you might want to see a doctor cause you’re dead inside. Or just a normal person who has a desire to play a fictional game on a broomstick. In which case you won’t need to see a doctor but you still should annually. Make sure your healthy. It’s important.

So if you’ll excuse me I have to grab my broom and practice throwing balls through hula-hoops. Like an adult.

Whose coming with me?!