Something happened to me today Geeklings. Something life changing. I’ve lived in a world, like most of you, where I believe that if any one is going to narrate my life story it should be Morgan Freeman. His voice is like velvet coated with butter which makes no sense but sounds smooth as hell. Who among us hasn’t heard Morgan Freeman speak and thought, “this guy needs to tell my story”? For example.
“Kevin woke up this morning and stretched before heading to the bathroom. The morning ritual had not lost its charm as he focused his eyes on the cable box clock and made his way down the hall. The night had been filled with strange dreams that hung in the background of his eyes like tiny dancers. Tiny Dancer. That’s a good song. Maybe he should put it on…”
Come on, you know he heard his voice and suddenly that whole ramble became a lot more interesting because of it. “Morning ritual hasn’t lost its charm”?! What the hell does it even mean?! It’s not a ritual to pee after waking up it’s a necessity. But who cares?! Because Morgan Freeman was saying it. You’re welcome.
As I was saying though, today brought about a change. I have found myself a new life narrator. Someone who has the gravitas to really make my life sound epic and amazing (side note I’m super stoked I just used the word gravitas). A voice that could bring the weight and emotional impact of my life. Geeklings, that voice belongs to…
Bryan Cranston. Heisenberg himself.
Now I’m sure there some of you out there who think that what I’m saying is blasphemy to the narration gods, but I assure you they are not. DC released the first trailer to Injustice 2 today, which has me excited for many different non Bryan Cranston reasons, but it clicked listening to it. I need this man to narrate my life. Is there anyone out there who could make this possible? Even if it’s like two to three paragraphs of my life that I can record and maybe use as a voice mail message. Or maybe just have him say something like, “say his name… it’s Kevin. You’re god damn right”. That would make my entire life. No kidding.
If you need further proof of the narration power of Heisenberg please check out the video clips below, and tell me I’m wrong. You guys can keep your Morgan Freeman I’m taking Walter White all day every day! Oh! I hope he does the audio version of his book. Put that on the list of things Kevin needs like yesterday.