A Letter To The Star Wars IX Director

Dear JJ Abrams,

Thank you.

Thank you for preventing even the whisper of conversation that George Lucas could return to direct another Star Wars movie. No one, not even George himself, wants that. Thank you for the universe George, but please don’t touch it anymore.

I for one am happy to see that you will be book ending this new trilogy. Episode VII helped rejuvenate and resurrect a franchise that was still licking its wounds from a prequel series where its main character talked at length for his hatred of sand. It was a great feeling being reminded why we fell in love with Star Wars in the first place. Giving you the opportunity to bring this new story full circle seems fitting and fair to the characters this story serves.

Could you please continue the trend of ignoring the term “midichlorians”.

Also, could you maybe include more porgs or the appropriate amount of porgs. I still don’t have a huge grasp on what these creatures are but I enjoy them. I don’t see them as Ewoks… wait. Why are Ewoks a negative aspect of Star Wars? I mean, they’re tribal space bears that help take down the Empire. What’s not to love here?! I was also a child when they were introduced which made me the clear demographic but come on. Tribal space bears. Back to porgs though and their inclusion in Episode IX, I’ve come to enjoy the Adorable Creature referring to them as “cat chickens” and would like that to continue. Plus those pop vinyls.

If at all possible could you include a female wookie. I’m more curious than anything. Not in a weird way but in a “what would that look like way”… I’m not helping myself here.

Could you think about naming the film, “Re-Return of the JJ-edi”?

In closing, welcome home JJ! It’s nice to know that the franchise is in capable hands. Even if directors are being chased away left and right. No one messes with the Abrams. You’re the Theo Epstein of science fiction movie franchises. Now bring us on home.

May the Force Be With You,

~ Every Star Wars fan


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