Dear Potential Dungeons & Dragons Tutor,

Hi, my name’s Kevin and I’m the owner of this here site. It may be small but it’s got a big heart, and there’s a bright future. After you read this letter why not poke around a bit. You’ll probably find at least one thing that grabs your interest. All of that is besides the point though. I want to talk to you about Dungeons & Dragons. I’d address you by name but I don’t know who you are yet, and using the term Dungeon Master before meeting you sounded like something out of some creepy German porn. I’ll keep to ambiguously addressing you if you don’t mind.

I have written about D&D on the site before but this is the first time I’m talking about it with you so allow me to give you some of my history. I have never played Dungeons & Dragons before. Ever. I was one of those kids who grew up in the 80’s that had parents precondition him to believe that D&D was the work of the devil. I knoooooow, it’s a common misconception but we both know the 80’s was a weird time. Eddie Murphy put out a pop album and the whole sock game was kind of a mess. What can I say?

I didn’t have a lot of interaction with people who played the game when I was growing up. The only real interaction I can remember is the kid who locked me in a closet on Easter when I was up in Cape Cod visiting my cousins. He was a D&D player from what I understand. But now that I’m older I know he didn’t like me in a closet because he was a Dungeons & Dragons player. He locked me in the closet because he was a dick and that’s what dicks do. I’m sorry if I’ve associated the two of you together. It was unfair of me and I’m willing to move past it.

Over the last couple of years I’ve grown really interested in playing a game of D&D. Shows like Community, the Harmontown documentary, and most recently Stranger Things have really peaked my interest and have me believing that it would be a lot of fun. Yet here in lies my problem. With no prior history to the game and everything I know about it stemming from these shows it puts me in quite the pickle. How do I play?

I’m not going to lie, I have loosely researched beginners books on Amazon and have considered buying one, but I’m not entirely sure if it’s the right beginners book. This is where you come in. I need your help. Could you please steer me in the right direction. Tell me what books to buy, where I can find awesome dice, introduce me to the easiest start up campaign… more or less be my D&D tutor.

I want you to know that I’m a quick learner and will ask plenty of relevant questions and some pretty stupid ones too. That’s some full disclosure right there. Hey if you don’t want to correspond at least set me up with a couple of You Tube videos to watch. I’m trying here.

My ultimate goal is to play one game of Dungeons and Dragons. I know you may be asking yourself, “why should I put the time in if it’s only going to be one game”, which is a fair question. You see, this is something that is currently sitting high up on my Geek Bucket List and I really would like to experience it before the year ends. If I’m speaking honestly I kind of want to run a campaign on my birthday next month but I know that seems unlikely. But hey, dream big, right?

What I’m looking for is an easy campaign, one that’s not ten hours long, where I can sit with my friends, have some drinks, laugh, talk all medieval like (picture Role Models), and listen to my Lord of the Rings playlist (titled Filthy Hobbits). I think I could be a hell of a Dungeon Master (yeah, I’ll do character voices) but I just need to be pointed in the right direction.

All I want is to defeat my own personal demogorgon or claim my very own Sword of Ducane. Maybe even hang out with characters like Hector the Well Endowed or Marvvvvvvv or even fly a pegasus. Yes, I know all those references come from the above mentioned shows and movies, but like I said, I have no experience here.

What do you say? Will you help me? You can contact me in the comments below or through the I Am Geek Facebook page (yep, we have one of those!). I appreciate the time and effort you’re going to put into this. I won’t let you down. I promise this one game will be epic.

Thanks for looking out and I look forward to hearing your advice!

Potential Dungeon Master,

Kevin