Favorite Dwight Schrute Quotes

It boggles my mind that there isn’t a coffee table book out there with a series of inspirational quotes from Dwight Schrute. I mean, the thing just sells itself really. I might even buy two copies. One for home and one for… the office.

There is such a plethora of wonderful Dwight quotes that I’d make my own coffee table book. Here. On a website. Welcome to I Am Geek’s List of Favorite Dwight Schrute Quotes.

You’re welcome in advance.

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I wish I could menstruate. If I could menstruate, I wouldn’t have to deal with idiotic calendars anymore. I’d just be able to count down from my previous cycle. Plus I’d be more in tune with the moon and the tides.

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No, don’t call me a hero. Do you know who the real heroes are? The guys who wake up every morning and go into their normal jobs, and get a distress call from the Commissioner and take off their glasses and change into capes and fly around fighting crime. Those are the real heroes.

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No, I disagree. “R” is one of the most menacing of sounds. That’s why they call it murder not ‘muckduck’

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There are a huge number of yeast infections in this county. Probably because we’re downriver from that old bread factory.

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Everyone, follow me to the shelter. We’ve got enough food for 14 days. After that, we have a difficult conversation.

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In an ideal world I would have all ten fingers on my left hand and the right one would just be left for punching.
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Now that I own the building I’m looking for new sources of revenue. And a daycare center? Muahahahahahahahaha…Well I guess it’s not an evil idea, it’s just a regular idea, but there’s no good laugh for a regular idea.
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Whenever I’m about to do something, I think, ‘would an idiot do that?’ and if they would, I do not do that thing.
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The eyes are the groin of the head.

 

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