A good portion of my day is comprised of trying to figure out what I want to write for the day. Some days are easier than others. Those are the days where trailers drop, there are big topics to discuss, or something really sticks in my mind. One of those things where if I don’t talk about this I might just pass out. These topics aren’t always relevant but I try to keep them so. There’s nothing worse than a pop culture website that isn’t relevant. That’s the equivalent of running a sports site that talks about games from ten years ago. What’s the point?

I’ve been sitting in front my screen today starting, deleting, starting again, deleting again, trying to figure out what I want to write about, and Geeklings, I’m having a tough time figuring it out. It’s almost as if I can’t string along a series of thoughts long enough to make a full column. I have a bunch of starting points but as I start to type them out I’m finding that I have no foundation for these thoughts to stand on. I’m almost getting bored with them as I’m writing. Here are two hundred words aaaaaand, nah. I’m good here. What else you got? Then repeat.

It’s slightly frustrating. I want to write, the last couple of weeks have been a bit light, and I want to keep bumping our stats here. We’re actually only four hundred or so views away from eclipsing all of last years numbers for I Am Geek. Nothing like seeing progress. I would imagine it’s the same feeling a parent would get when their child is invited to a party or when you come home from work and notice that your cat dragged his stuffed otter to the water bowl because he thought the otter would be thirsty… that’s a very specific example. Proud is the emotion I’m trying to convey here. Proud.

Let’s take a look at this column for a second. We have just passed the three hundred twenty word count and I’ve literally talked about nothing. Not one thing. I’ve talked about how I want to write about something but haven’t provided any insight on what that something could be. I know this may feel very fourth-wall breaking and maybe I’m just doing a poor Deadpool impression (maximum effort…no, I prefer maximum Derek) or maybe the truth is I’m just stringing a bunch of words together in the hope that something materializes. Honestly, the later feels more like the truth. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy me some Deadpool but to write an entire column as a Deadpool impression not only seems exhausting but a bit derivative. 

I write, quite a bit as a matter of fact, and it feels that outside of the Pull List, I’ve been struggling to come up with ideas. So when you get a long-winded kind of nothing column piece like the one you’re currently reading it is clearly the last gasp of a desperate man. That maybe one of these random thoughts in my head will veer off the road into this incredible tangent and BOOM instant column. That has yet to happen. I’ve tried. I thought maybe I could talk about guilty pleasures and whether or not there is such a thing. Why can’t guilty pleasures just be… pleasures? Why do we have to associate a negative term to something we like. Listen, I like a ton of things that people look at and kind of scratch their heads. I remember watching Reservoir Dogs with my father and when it ended he looked at me and said, “you like that why?” It was crushing but a real lesson in how people have much, much different tastes. That’s okay, own it. If you like something just be like “hey, I find this to be awesome and here’s why”. Who knows, maybe there’s someone else out there waiting to hear exactly that. Maybe you two could become besties because you’re both addicted to Three Headed Shark Attack or The Bachelor. 

[Side Note- Three Headed Shark Attack is a treasure and has Danny Trejo in it, and before you ask, yes he has a machete. And yes, it’s effin spectacular.]

Somehow that thought never progressed. Maybe my energy levels are down. Perhaps I could use some B12 or something. We have it in the apartment. It’s this red tablet you put under your tongue that dissolves and you’re supposed to have instant B12 energy coursing through your veins like the speed force or something. Usually, I put it in and brush my teeth after and when I spit out my suds I think my mouth is bleeding. I keep forgetting to reverse that order.

[Side Note- I’m currently listening to a playlist of the Guardians of the Galaxy soundtracks and usually they give me life. Seriously, there are very few things in life that make me as consistently happy as the first Guardians soundtrack. Instant happy place. The thing is, Apple Music doesn’t give you the rights to soundtracks, because reasons, so I had to piece this thing together myself. Granted, I cheated. Our sometimes writer Tiffani Bennet sent me a link to her combo playlist and I stole it for my own. I did have to amend it though because some songs were out of order and that shit just wrinkles my brain. Thanks for the foundation though Tiff! Long story short, “Come and Get Your Love” just came on, and it’s normally one of my favorite songs on the album. It’s the intro song to Star Lord, it makes me want to dance stupidly, just an all-around good time. Buuuuuut it’s the wrong version of the song and now I’m sitting here wanting to rip my skin off. It just sticks out soooooo much that it’s bothering my OCD and now I want to scrap the whole playlist and rebuild it with the right song. It has seriously impeded my enjoyment of my listening experience…]

Somehow we just passed the one thousand word mark, and I still feel like nothing is being said. Here’s the thing though, it’s kind of fun, no? Like working out the ramblings of a mad man? I have this Stephen King quote that I refer to when writing fiction, but I also think applies specifically to this column. “Stopping a piece of work just because it’s hard, either emotionally or imaginatively, is a bad idea. Sometimes you have to go on when you don’t feel like it. And sometimes you’re doing good work when it feels like all you’re managing is to shovel shit from a sitting position.” I’ve always applied this quote to when I’m writing fiction but I think it pertains here too. It’s helpful. As a matter of fact, for a column with no real compass, I think we’re doing quite well. 

I mean, does this thing really need to be almost twelve hundred words? Probably not. Did I enjoy myself while writing it? Of course. Maybe that’s what I needed today. Not a column full of substance but just some writing. The method of stringing together words and seeing what sticks. Yes, that’s pretty much the definition of what writing is but when you don’t have a clear purpose stringing those words together seems much more important. It’s like drowning with a life preserver within reach if you could only swim a couple of feet. That’s a bit melodramatic but you get the point. Good news, we didn’t drown today. Just kind of splashed around a bit. I’m okay with that. And if you made it this far I take it you are too.