All Hail Our New Adorable Overlords, The Quokka

I learned about a new animal today. You would think as a thirty-seven-year-old adult that my new animal discovery days would be over. I mean, what else is there to discover? Maybe some kind of fun sub-species of a cat or bear but at this point in the game, I think I’ve seen it all. Or so I thought.

Like most mornings, I woke up (yay not dead!), went to the gym, and came home with not enough time to read. I hate that. There’s just something ultra-relaxing about coming home from the gym in the wee hours of the morning and reading before committing to the morning work rituals. It’s like this ten or fifteen-minute bubble where nothing else really exists. A time to itself where work is still out of reach. I love it and today I didn’t have enough time for it which was a bummer. I’m close to catching up on Black Hamer and I’ve been re-reading Gone Girl which means I’ve got options. Probably best I didn’t have to make Sophie’s Choice so early in the morning. With reading off the board I did what anyone else would do with five minutes to go before they had to get ready for work… I went on social media.

We’re all guilty, and usually, this early morning search is checking those late-night emails (I get a lot of t-shirt websites that email me around midnight when the day’s new shirts drop) or what I might have missed on Instagram or Twitter. Twitter usually comes with the, “I hope nothing awful happened while I was sleeping” trepidation opposed to the “oooooh what new comic book stuff is floating about” that comes with later in the day appearances. Today I went a little out of order (Instagram, Twitter, Facebook) and hopped on Facebook to see what was up. And I’m sooooooo glad that I did. If I hadn’t I might not have made my new animal discovery.

Social media has become a series of people just posting or reposting videos most of which aren’t worth my time… or yours if we’re speaking honestly. If it’s not a video of people falling, getting hit randomly with a giant ball, or cats chances are I’m not going to watch it. Just being truthful. This particular video though, well, it stopped me dead in my tracks.

What. Is. This. And more importantly, how do I get one?! Like yesterday. I want it to get into adventures with Hudson the Cat, who still might be emotionally shell shocked from the Cats movie trailer. 

After a brief conversation with my fiancé and a quick Google search, I’ve discovered that this little critter is called a quokka. My soon to be wife informed me that they smile at cameras but people aren’t allowed to touch them, which immediately made me wonder if they too carry chlamydia. Now I assume that some of you just said: “what the…” audibly, but allow me to explain. I think I read, or heard, at some point in life that kolas carry a type of chlamydia. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s a defense mechanism or something, but this is science people, I don’t pretend to understand it. I just figured this tiny, adorable, critter would also carry some strange VD with it. Because, why not? 

Turns out, they don’t. At least, not that I could find. Still not sure why we’re not allowed to touch them. I think it’s because Australia doesn’t want them becoming domesticated? Or growing attached to humans? Or maybe we carry some germs they aren’t accustomed to and our touch could potentially kill them. If that’s the case, don’t touch them! Quokkas are precious and must be protected at all costs! Don’t ruin them for the rest of us you monsters!

Outside of the no-touching thing, it would seem that this is just an adorable animal, that smiles when in front of a camera, and adorably eats leaves. As if we need more. Oh, it’s important to note that quokkas cannot eat human food. Which mean if you’re ever put in a position where you’re one on one with a quokka don’t give it some of your bagel. First off, it’s not a duck and second off, they can’t digest human food properly. Be mindful people.

Needless to say, I spent more time then I’m willing to admit Googling quokkas and all their adorableness. I may even have subscribed to an Instagram page full of quokka pictures. Perhaps… maybe two. You know, for those instant bursts of happiness. Come on, look at them! How can this not save a crappy workday? Stressed? Quokka video. Overworked? Quokka picture. Want to go home? Both quokka videos and pictures. These little creatures might be the solution to everything.

The world is a funny place. You could just be existing, minding your own business, and then out of nowhere the cutest animal ever created appears in your feed eating a leaf. Next thing you know you’ve spent the majority of your day trying to figure out how you can own one while wondering if leaves are as delicious as this particular quokka made it seem. Wonders will never cease.

Of course, you don’t have to take my word for it. I’ll leave you with a bunch of quokka pics to help brighten your day. Bookmark this post. It’s here for you when all else has failed. 

Quokka 4Quokka 1Quokka 2


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