I just wrote the header of this column and I’m cracking up. It feels like one of those exploitative television shows where they’re always catching someone doing something shady. They always target your next-door neighbor or the local food pantry or that one bench in town everyone likes to sit on. You know, to create panic and decent within the community. A show that’s probably titled “Hard Wire”, is that even real (?) it feels like it should be, where the lead-in is “Coming up next on Hard Wire, the hamburger Burger King doesn’t want you to see before it’s cooked and why it could be… killing you.” That’s what this column’s header makes me think of and it’s such a silly thing because in the grand scheme of the universe this is nothing. This is but a tiny bit of dust on the sands of the world but I thought it would be funny and frankly, I think we could use more funny so I’m writing about it.

Apparently, I posted a Lord of the Rings meme today that Facebook found… offensive? Possibly appalling and I’m starting to wonder if it’s because of their pro-Uruk Hai agenda. Don’t act like you haven’t noticed the White Hand of Saruman marking many of your favorite posts or suddenly appearing in your feeds labeled as “random” polls. Make no mistake about it Geeklings, Facebook is working for the Eye of Sauron and they wish to destroy us all.

At least, that’s the only reasoning I could think of why they would want to block this meme. It’s not even a particularly good meme. I mean, it’s okay. I laughed. I was hoping that some of you would laugh as well. Look at me, explaining the purpose of memes. God, what have we come to?! I can hear Gandalf in my ear now calling me a fool of a Carey. I must be careful or further explaining could sever our fellowship. How many Lord of the Rings puns/analogies can I make in one paragraph?! How about one hundred and eleven?! Would that make you happy?

After posting this less than spectacular but now Hall of Fame worthy meme, I was alerted by Facebook that I had violated the “Community Standards” which I was unaware that Facebook even had. I find it incredible that they fail to mark some of the racist, radical, and batshit insane status updates or memes as violating the same policy but when a geeky dude wants to talk about Legolas kicking some ass at Helm’s Deep, well, we’ve got to draw the line somewhere. Again, pro-orc agenda at its finest.

Now, I could have kept this secret. Kept it safe. But I really didn’t want to. This is stupid. This whole column is stupid. I know this. You know this. But here we are all the same. Let’s point out the stupid and celebrate it. Maybe you guys can help me figure out why this was flagged by Jesse Eisenberg. Is it because Joe Rogan’s there? I feel like it could be because Joe Rogan’s there but why is that suddenly an issue? Isn’t Joe Rogan everywhere at this point? Is it because the Battle of Helm’s Deep needs to be fact-checked? Maybe it’s because Legolas cheated in his final kill tally when he shot the arrow in the orc that Gimili clearly killed. I mean for Christ’s sake, his ax was in its skull. I know fact-checking is a big social media thing now, or isn’t if you’re Jesse Eisenberg, so that could be a factor here. Let’s figure this out together.

All I know is, this meme deserves to be seen. It should be celebrated. It has now reached a status that clearly over hypes it and diminishes its worth. Yet, it becoming scandalous not only raises the power of the meme, despite it being dumb, but makes Facebook look kind of stupid. And I guess, at the end of the day this column is aimed at making Facebook look a little stupid. I think they kind of deserve it.

Oh, I almost forgot.  The highly controversial meme is below. You better appreciate it before Facebook pulls this column down for siding with the Fellowship. All Hail Our Orc Overlords!