by Tiffani Bennett

Where do I begin?  No, seriously, where do I begin?  How do you even start a conversation about Endgame when there is so much to unpack?  I mean, it was a three-hour movie which has been building up over the past eleven years and twenty-one movies.  What else would you expect? Obviously, this column is about the whole movie so there are spoilers ahead.   Make sure you hunker down. This is going to be a long ride.

It took me a total of thirteen days before being able to see Endgame.  That was no doubt the most difficult thirteen days of my life. I was legit like Agnes in Despicable Me when she sees the stuffed unicorn at Super Silly Fun Land.  HE’S SO FLUFFY I’M GONNA DIE! I was avoiding social media like the plague. I still went on, but anything Endgame related was scrolled over or I just got signed off immediately.  The anxiety was real.

Why so long a wait you ask? This #fangirl was adulting hardcore. My husband and I moved our family to a new house. I’m not sure if any of you have done a major move before but it’s the worst.  Endgame was the much need treat I needed.

[Tiffani will now go breakdown just about every scene with reactions. Again spoilers. Prepare yourselves!]

We finally get to see what happened to Hawkeye and his family when the snap happened.  What was so gut-wrenching for me was the fact he had his back turned and didn’t see them turn to dust.  In all honesty, I’m not even sure if him witnessing it would be better or worse.

Cut to Iron Man and Nebula in space on the Guardian’s ship.  I loved seeing the chemistry and bonding that the two of them went through in two weeks.  You really get to see how Nebula has changed. Her giving Tony the rest of whatever space food they were eating made me smile.

I wasn’t expecting to see Captain Marvel show up to save the day.  I was actually expecting to see the post-credit scene from Captain Marvel.  Not all post-credit scenes have been part of all MCU movies, but I really thought this one would be.  I’m not mad at it though. However, it did take me a second to get my head straight.

The reunion between all of our survived superheroes (well, minus Hawkeye and Ant-Man) at the Avengers Compound made my heart so happy.  The interacting with one another gave me all of the feels. I’m sure the majority of us saw the leaked scene where Captain Marvel explains why she hasn’t been back to Earth since the ’90s.  So, we all knew the plan was to get Thanos, get the Stones and to bring everyone back who turned to dust.

Our heroes traveling to “The Garden” where Thanos had been hiding was almost surreal in a sense.  Seriously, this is the guy that just wiped out half of all living creatures in the universe and he’s just chillin’ on a planet picking some kind of space fruit!  The ambush on him was flawless. This is what finishes Thor’s downward spiral into binge drinking and eating to deal with his pain. B. T. Dubs Thor, I get it and I can totally relate.  Although, when he chopped off Thanos’ head my mouth dropped. I’m not saying it was right, but I’m also not saying I wouldn’t have done that if I was him. Thanos destroying the Stones had me feeling like what are they going to do now?!  

As we all suspected there was a time jump.  A five-year time jump. Cap is part of a grief group, which is so fitting for him. He always talks so eloquently.  It’s like he was made for it. Uh, and the cameo by Joe Russo. Come on.

In San Francisco, we find out that Scott Lang didn’t figure out how to get out of the Quantum Realm by himself.  A rat, crawling on the controls in the van finally got him out. Five years for a rat. Or five hours according to Scott.  Watching him wander around trying to figure out what happened was so sad. Even him trying to stop that kid on the bike to ask what had happened was eerie.  The wall of names of the vanished had such an HBO’s The Leftovers feel.  It was so appropriate though and helped him figure out that Cassie is alive and it drove him to find her.

We pan back over at the compound, Nat is having a meeting with Nebula, Rocket, Captain Marvel and Rhodey.  Can we pause for a moment to talk about Captain Marvel’s haircut? Like, my god. I’m so here for it. Everyone involved in the MCU sure knows what they are doing and are so great to follow the comic books.  We learn that Hawkeye is running around killing drug lords so that’s cool. After the conference ends, Cap shows up for a visit while Nat is weeping and trying to eat a peanut butter sandwich.

Scott shows up at the front door and Cap asks if that video chat is an old message.  The original trailer shows Nat with the short blonde hair which totally threw me off.  Those Russo brothers and their editing of trailers are just so amazingly twisting. Scott introducing the idea of time travel was obvious but again, not mad at it.  It made everything flow nicely.

I can’t remember if this is a comic book thing or if it was a theory I heard at some point, but I was pleasantly surprised to see that Tony and Pepper had a daughter and not a son.  She was perfectly adorable with Tony’s wit. The “I love you 3000” melted my heart.

Tony declined Cap, Nat, and Scott’s offer about a new plan which lead to the introduction of Professor Hulk.  The CGI was so spectacular that it really looked like the Hulk and Banner were one. Like Mark Ruffalo’s face, you could see it!  His whole attitude was so goofy, light and so funny. The selfies with his fans had me rolling.

Are we at all surprised that Tony figured out how to time travel? He’s a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist… what else would you expect?  His entrance at the compound was priceless and just confirmed why I love him so much.  He’s smug but in a sarcastic hilarious kind of way.

New Asgard was everything. Why wouldn’t he settle where he and Loki last saw Odin?!  Odin called it home, it makes sense. Seeing Valkyrie, Korg and Miek was fantastic!  But that pales in comparison to the new Thor. Shirtless with his gut sticking out, drunk, long dirty looking beard, dirtier looking dreadlock hair, yelling at kids while Korg was playing Fortnite.  I can’t. And Rocket bribing Thor with beer. The icing on the cake. Even Thor talking about the Reality Stone while a plan was being set in motion was hysterical.

I had all of the feels when they were figuring out a plan and teams for who was going to get which Stone.  The slow-motion walk to the time travel platform made my heart race. This is where my excitement for this movie got amped up.  I was already excited, but this is when my hands found my face and they stayed there for the duration of the movie. Like I’m not kidding, I literally had at least one or both hands on my face the rest of the time.

Cap, Scott, Tony, and Banner head to 2012 New York with the Tesseract, Mind Stone and the Time Stone on their list.  Nat, Clint, Nebula, and Rhodes all head to Morag. Nebula and Rhodes are to grab the Power Stone before Star Lord takes it in 2014.  Nat and Clint take the tiny Guardians ship, after making it big again of course, to Vormir to get the Soul Stone. Finally, we have still drunk Thor and Rocket heading to Asgard in 2013 to retrieve the Reality Stone.

Since all great movies jump around from scene to scene I’m going to break this down by mission instead.

The Battle of New York:

The first Avengers movie.  Ahhhh! My palms started to sweat here. The amazingness of this. The classic Avengers circle. Chills! Did they shoot additional scenes when they did the original movie?  Did they go back and actually re-shoot those scenes during Endgame? Like my mind is blown.  Fucking Russo Brothers. 

Hearing and seeing Loki again was so good, and that Cap impression, just stop.  The elevator, Hulk complaining about having to take the stairs, America’s Ass, Hail Hydra, Cap running into 2012 Cap, everything we wanted to see and more.  After Cap said “You’ve got to be shitting me” I looked at my husband and said “Language!”. The Time Heist is in motion! It will be flaw-uh-oh-no. The Tesseract is with Loki again.  He’s obviously destined to be with it. This is like, what, four movies now that we’ve seen him with it. My one hope, which the Russo Brothers recently confirmed, was that he disappeared into another dimension and he’s alive.

Professor Hulk finds the Ancient One, not Doctor Strange, to ask for the Time Stone.  His knowledge of how time works and knowing that Dr. Strange gave the Time Stone willingly to Thanos is what ultimately saves us here.  Two down, one to go, thanks Loki.

Tony and Cap remember that Howard Stark and Hank Pym are in New Jersey at the S.H.I.E.L.D. compound farther back in the past with the Tesseract and Pym Particles.  They tell Scott to head back to the present and make way for New Jersey in the 1970s.

Morag:

Rhodes, Nebula, Clint, and Nat make it on the same planet where Star Lord is about to start the intro for Guardians of the Galaxy.  Clint and Nat separate from them and venture off for the Soul Stone.

Nebula leads Rhodey to Star Lord where they sit back and watch him singing “Come and Get Your Love” with his walkman while using little space creatures as his microphone.  It’s one of my favorite opening scenes in all of the MCU. Nebula warns Rhodes that they need to be careful because 2014 Thanos, Nebula, and Gamora are also looking for the Power Stone and are not far away from their present location.  

Nebula clocks Quill, knocking him out, takes his makeshift lock pick and goes to the temple like cave building thing that the Stone is in.  They grab it and sync up to head back and Nebula collapses and doesn’t make the jump. We find out, which makes sense now based on watching Infinity War, that Nebula is connected to some kind of network. After all of those lost fights to Gamora and the replacing of her parts by Thanos, she’s more machine than person. I mean, he uses her as a movie projector in Infinity War to find the location of the Soul Stone. Once 2014 Nebula figures out what is happening, she alerts Thanos.  2014 Nebula is used as a projector to see into 2023 Nebula’s head. I. Died. Shit! He knows! Ahhhh!! Again, heart racing, hands on face and palms sweating. 2014 Nebula takes 2023’s faceplate so she can meet back with the others unnoticed. She also gives one of the Pym Particles to Thanos.  

Vormir:

Ugh.  That’s all I could think.  We know one of them has to die.  There is no other way. But will it be Nat or Clint?  Clint has so much more to live for. Not like Nat doesn’t, but Clint has a wife and three kids.  Nat loves and knows them. They all have a relationship. I knew deep down she was going to make sure it was her.  But the fight, talk about anxiety! Seeing her lay there almost exactly the same way Gamora was in Infinity War. Tear.

Asgard:

Thor, you were the comedy relief we all needed in this movie.  Your new attitude and Rocket’s whit made me sane during this movie.  I mean, the Russo Brothers made Thor so relatable. A Norse God who can fight with lightning is overeating, drinking and crying.  That’s me on a Saturday night. I’m just kidding. Or am I? But in all seriousness, seeing Asgard again was breathtaking. It’s one of my favorite places in the MCU.  

We got to see a thirty-second peak of Jane Foster and Rocket following her around trying to extract the Aethar aka the Reality Stone.  Meanwhile, Thor sees his mother for the first time in like 10 years. She knows he’s there and knows he’s not “her Thor”. Frigga sneaks away from her handmaids and finds him.  There go those heartstrings again. This was the closure he needed. Rocket returns but before they sync up to go back Thor sticks his hand out. Mjolnir! OMG!

S.H.I.E.L.D. Compound:

Just when I thought my heart couldn’t take any more we see him.  Stan Lee! Pause, did anyone else cry when the opening Marvel Studios graphics popped up at the beginning of Captain Marvel, showing all of Stan’s cameos?  I did. My husband just looked at me and giggled.

Tony and Cap sneak into the facility, Tony after the Tesseract and Cap after the Pym Particles.  As Tony grabs the Tesseract his father shows up. Cue more anxiety. I really thought it was going to end up being a commotion at this point and that Cap and Tony would have to run out being chased by agents.  Thank god it didn’t.

We see Cap tricking Hank into leaving his office and going in to grab the particles.  Then he sees her. I wish she got just a glimpse of him. Even one of those cheesy movie double-take looks. I did feel like Cap was going to tell Tony to go on back to the present without him.  But that’s not what Captain America would do. Cap finds Tony and they sync up and head back.

Back to Present Day:

They freaking did it!  They got all of the Stones! Something has to go wrong right? They put the stones in an “Iron Man” looking gauntlet.  OMG, OMG, OMG! Banner takes it as the strongest and most likely to handle the power since it’s giving off gamma radiation.  Tony directs him to bring everyone back but not to change what’s happened in the past five years. Snap! Clint’s phone rings, it’s his wife.  Scott looks outside at a brighter looking sky with birds chirping. It worked! Shit, I forgot 2014 Nebula came back to the present and now Thanos is here.  BOOM! I swear to you, I thought they all died. Scott especially since he was right at the window. I started to tear up again.

It ends up, they are all alive.  Thanos just blew the entire Avengers compound to smithereens though.  Clint has the Gauntlet. Banner, Scott, Rhodes, and Rocket are underneath the rubble somewhere trying to get out.  Cap, Thor, and Tony collect themselves and head for Thanos. Thor pulls out Storm Breaker and Mjolnir and does a lightning costume change.  Fat Thor now has his fighting outfit back along with some braids.

They start fighting.  Tony gets knocked out at some point.  Cap is swatted like a fly and Thanos starts pushing Storm Breaker into Thor’s chest.  Yikes!! Then it happened. Mjolnir moves but it doesn’t go to Thor. It. Goes. To. Cap.  I punched my poor husband in the arm several times when this happened. This is really where I had this huge flow of emotions.  I started crying and shaking. Can you have a heart attack from watching a movie? It really seemed like Cap was going to defeat Thanos alone.  We all know Cap doesn’t back down and can do this all day, but this is Thanos and his army.

Then, a voice.  At first, I thought it was Scott on the ear comm.  When the voice said it was Sam I about died. They came! But How many?! Just then, Dr. Strange and Wong start opening portals and EVERYONE shows up!  I. Am. Deceased. This is now like the last play of the game and the Gauntlet is being passed around like a football.  Captain Marvel shows up directing the attention to her. Somehow Thanos gets the Gauntlet. Fuck! He’s going to do the snap again!  Just then, Tony looks over at Dr. Strange who seems to be pointing at the sky? No, dumbass, he’s saying the one possible scenario that we win.  This. Is. It.

Tony grabs Thanos in an attempt to fight, I think.  Then Thanos starts to repeat what he said at the beginning of this movie, “I am inevitable”.  Snap. Nothing. He looks at the Gauntlet and the Stones are gone! Tony holds up his hand to show that HE has the Stones in his freakin’ Iron Man suit. Chills! Tony says “and I am Iron Man!” Snap!! All of the armies start to turn to dust. The last one to go is Thanos. It’s over.

My. Heart.  I mean it makes sense that Tony would die.  The entire eleven year build up to this started with Iron Man.  Now I’m crying. The funeral was done so well. Everyone was there.  Even the kid from Iron Man 3. It was very fitting, all of it.

Now, we have to return the stones and Mjolnir to their proper timelines.  Cap is the one that goes. Immediately I think, well if he didn’t stay with Peggy in the 1970s, he’s surely going to try and stay with her now.  As Banner, Sam, and Bucky try to figure out why they can’t get him back, Bucky notices someone sitting on a bench. We see an old Steve Rogers. Sigh.  He was able to live the life he always wanted. He’s now passed his shield to Sam. I had predicted that from the start but I thought it was going to happen in Infinity War.  

We cut to Peggy and Cap having that dance that was promised way back when.  It was the perfect ending. My little #fangirl heart was so full I think it exploded.  Also, let’s talk about the fact that there wasn’t a post credit scene. I mean, why would there be.  We know Spider-Man Far from Home is coming but why rush it? This was the end of the eleven year, twenty-two movie journey.  The Endgame.