I Am Geek Mailbag Vol. 1

I always get a little nervous when I put something out in the universe that depends on the involvement of others to get off the ground. When I came to you last week looking to create the first ever I Am Geek Mailbag, I had already written two columns in my head. The first column where there was actual participation and I answered all your burning questions. The second column, the one I was most worried about, was the column where there were no questions and I sort of made up my own and then shamed you all for not participating. I was really hoping that I didn’t have to write that one but sometimes you never know. But the site has been around long enough, five years now, that I felt mildly confident that you guys would participate.

And you did not let me down. Phew. Some of the questions I was willing to ask myself were not okay…

All this is to say, Welcome to the first ever I Am Geek Mailbag. A column completely created by you, the Geeklings. You sent in questions and I have answers which means I didn’t have to think of a new topic for today so I should really be thanking you. It’s Monday and no one ever really wants to work that hard on a Monday.

So let’s get this thing cracking. It’s time to answer your burning questions. Starting with…

Have you started watching Selling Sunset on Netflix yet? If not, why are you depriving yourself such amazingness? -Tiffani

Honest answer, when I read this question I had zero clue of what Selling Sunset is or was. I thought that maybe that this would be some sort of new drama that got overlooked because there is an overwhelming amount of content on Netflix. I was excited. A new show to binge? Bring it. Sooooooo, I looked up the trailer. Was not expecting that. At all. It looks like Selling Sunset is more Netflix reality TV, and those of you who have been reading know my love for Love Is Blind, where a bunch of pretty people sell property? Or fight with each other? Own dogs? All of the above?

Now, I do have a not so secret love for trashy reality television buuuuuut I have not started Selling Sunset yet. I don’t know, it might need more people in pods trying to date before I tune in. I’m curious though and can see a world where I throw this on just to see what it’s about and then lose twenty hours of life. Anything is possible.

What would be your ideal fantasy team-up if you had to create a Fellowship from all fantasy that you’ve read?- Kyle

Man, I love this question. I’ve been thinking about it pretty hard ever since it was submitted and I like to believe that I’ve come up with a pretty good Fellowship. There were nine members of the Fellowship so I thought I would stick with that number. I now present to you my Ultimate Fantasy Fellowship… the title might need some work.

  1. Jon Snow, Game of Thrones– I love Jon Snow. I know he doesn’t want it, but he would most likely be my leader here. He’s got everything you’d want in a Fellowship member. Loyalty. Honor. Badass sword skills. A mysterious origin. I’ll take all the Jon Snow please.
  2. Samwise, Lord of the Rings- Every Fellowship needs a Sam. It’s that plain and simple.
  3. Gandalf, Lord of the Rings– Every Fellowship needs a wizard. Especially one that can’t die.
  4. Hermione, Harry Potter- Smart. Loyal. Fearless. Magic skills. Who wouldn’t want Hermione in their Fellowship?
  5. Sorsha, Willow– I know you said reading but I’m making some exceptions. We need another badass with a sword here. Someone we know can find the good in themselves when shit gets real. I see you Sorsha.
  6. Roland Deschain, The Dark Tower– I know that I said Jon Snow would most likely be the leader of this group but there was no way I was forming a Fellowship without Roland. There’s no character I’ve traveled with more. He’s dark, mysterious, haunted, fighting demons (real or his own), can dance, brings a wealth of history/skill/knowledge, and is lights out with a six shooter. I go no where without Roland Deschain.
  7. Arya Stark, Game of Thrones– Can change faces. Sneak into areas undetected. Fiery spirit. Welcome to the group Arya.
  8. Oy, The Dark Tower- Oy is more than just an animal sidekick. He’s a fierce companion who can talk, do math, and will fight for you until his last breathe. When doing this Fellowship, Oy was actually my second choice behind Sam. If Oy can’t come then what’s the point?
  9. Myself- Ummmm, I need to see how this all plays out. I’m going.

Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?- Ed

Once.

This question was in gif form from a scene in one of my all time favorite movies. The Forty Year Old Virgin. Andy was being asked, “so you wrote ho fo sho?”- TJ

I would like to answer this question with a video that also stars Steve Carrell.

Bluberry?- Leslie

This is an important question because the answer is yes. All the yes. I’m a big fan of all things blueberry. The fruit. Vodka. Beer. And once Snapple had a blueberry iced tea and it was the greatest iced tea ever to grace the earth. I drank it whenever I could. And then sadly one day it disappeared so I emailed Snapple about it. They said it still existed. It was out there… but it was not. I searched far and wide Geeklings, but that iced tea is gone. And the very thought of it breaks my heart into a million pieces.

Who is the real boss?- Jennifer

Well, I’ve watched this Community episode and the answer is Angela. If you don’t believe me, allow Abed to explain.

If you could live in any fictional universe, where would it be?- Also Jennifer

This is a wonderful question. My immediate thought was The Dark Tower Universe because it encompasses all of Stephen King’s work. Then I thought about it and a lot of Stephen King’s works are scary as shit. It’s like getting an all paid for vacation anywhere in the world and choosing to go to the dump instead of a tropical island. Not that King’s Universe is a dump but the horrors are the same.

My second thought was something along the lines of being stuck in some sort of zombie apocalypse but I decided I didn’t want to die and turn into the undead with my choice of fictional universes.

Ultimately, I decided on the Marvel Universe. Sure you can just be having lunch an alien invasion could break out or an entire city could be covered in some sort of alien blob, buuuuut on the plus side of all this is superheroes. I want to live in a world with superheroes.

If you had to pick one hero/villain in the Marvel Universe to become for a day, who would it be? Same question with the DC Universe. You’d literally live in that universe for a day as that character.- Ken

Okay, the Marvel hero is insanely easy. It’s Spider-Man. Spider-Man has been my favorite superhero since I was a kid and if I was given the opportunity to be him for a day? It would be the most glorious day. Sure, I’d have to ignore my insane fear of heights as I swung around New York but I think I can do it. Hell, I zip lined during my honeymoon so anything is possible. To be Spidey though… that would be a dream come true.

Marvel villain? Also easy. Doctor Doom. I’d have my own country and get to wear a badass hood with a metal face. I’m all about the look.

DC hero seems like it should be Batman but I don’t really want to spend my day inheriting all that inner pain and tortured soulness. So my pick would be The Flash. I’d love to be a speedster for a day. Think of all the places I could travel to! I could eat everything and burn it off. I couldn’t drink and not get drunk. I could eat everything! And because The Flash effs with timelines I could theoretically extend my time by reversing the rotation of the earth or something. Win win.

DC villain, I know lately the lines have been blurred, but I think I go with Harley Quinn here. I just want to know what it would be like to be that jovially insane for a day. Plus the hammer is pretty rad.

There you have it Geeklings, the first I Am Geek Mailbag is in the books. Thank you all for your questions. I say we do another one of these in a couple of months. Start thinking of your questions now. And if you can’t wait to ask them then be sure to throw them in the comments or throw me a line over on Twitter @iamgeek32. Can’t wait to see what you guys throw my way next!

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